Vituary - Nicole Giles

Nicole Giles

Talk about an angel!

This woman has a voice like Etta James, a heart like Fred Rogers, and a palette like Gordon Ramsay.

She takes the lemons that life throws at her with a grain of salt (and a splash of tequila) 'cause she's all about living her best life, which I so admire.

Nicole has the most beautiful family (who get to bask in her homemade pastas and chocolate cakes) and it's clear how hard she works to ensure her munchkins have the greatest life.

She's got a fabulous sense of humour and knows not to take herself too seriously, but she gives a shit when and where it counts. 

Nicole enriches the lives of everyone she meets and I consider myself quite lucky to know somebody as incredible as her.

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obit (n.) 

late 14c., "death," from Middle French obit or directly from Latin obitus "death," noun use of past participle of obire "to die," literally "to go toward" (see obituary). In modern usage (since 1874) it is usually a clipped form of obituary, though it had the same meaning of "published death notice" 15c.-17c.

vita (n.) 

plural vitae, Latin, literally "life," from PIE root *gwei- "to live."

While recently watching Rex Murphy’s tribute to my late father, I was saddened that my father wasn’t able to hear Murphy’s wonderful words.  I’ve decided to write pieces that are dedicated to telling the people in my life how great I think they are.  I call them “Vituaries.”  

Vituary - Alyssia Bell-Surette

Alyssia Bell-Surette

Ah, my beautiful little unicorn princess #blessed

Alyssia is, without question, one of the funniest, sweetest, and most entertaining people out there. Not only does she put up with my dumb jokes, she actually cares enough to pretend she thinks they're funny!

She is much more intelligent, beautiful, and valuable than she thinks, and she has a lot in common with me so, naturally she's pretty spectacular.

She's a fellow r/crimescene enthusiast, a hot sauce fanatic (sexy), and my partner in anxiety. She's one of the only reasons I survive Mondays. and Tuesdays. And every other day.

Alyssia has the best laugh and the best sense of humour. Also, she has really nice hair.

Not only does she let me give her advice, she appreciates it. And I love her for that.

Alyssia never gives herself enough credit, but I hope one day she'll see what we all see. 

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obit (n.) 

late 14c., "death," from Middle French obit or directly from Latin obitus "death," noun use of past participle of obire "to die," literally "to go toward" (see obituary). In modern usage (since 1874) it is usually a clipped form of obituary, though it had the same meaning of "published death notice" 15c.-17c.

vita (n.) 

plural vitae, Latin, literally "life," from PIE root *gwei- "to live."

While recently watching Rex Murphy’s tribute to my late father, I was saddened that my father wasn’t able to hear Murphy’s wonderful words.  I’ve decided to write pieces that are dedicated to telling the people in my life how great I think they are.  I call them “Vituaries.”  

Vituary - Jodie Jensen

Jodie Jensen

I was surprised by how quickly I formed a connection with Jodie when I first started my job at IHC. But, then I figured out why: she's just like a newfie! She's nice and loud, she can drink anyone under the table, and she loves a cold Pep-say.

Jodie has quickly become one of the only reasons (Alyssia and Montana notwithstanding) I'm able to get through the work week. We have the same vulgar sense of humour and a weird, shared obsession with Dr. Pimple Popper.

She has a very kind heart but won't hesitate to judo chop yo' ass if you come after one of her own.  She's constantly taking flack in order to protect her girls, even when she gets nothing in return.

Jodie is a warrior and puts up with more bullsh*t than anyone should have to deal with in one lifetime. She's an incredible person to have in your corner and would walk to the ends of the earth for her loved ones.

She's beautiful inside and out and I'm sure I wouldn't survive IHC without her.

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obit (n.) 

late 14c., "death," from Middle French obit or directly from Latin obitus "death," noun use of past participle of obire "to die," literally "to go toward" (see obituary). In modern usage (since 1874) it is usually a clipped form of obituary, though it had the same meaning of "published death notice" 15c.-17c.

vita (n.) 

plural vitae, Latin, literally "life," from PIE root *gwei- "to live."

While recently watching Rex Murphy’s tribute to my late father, I was saddened that my father wasn’t able to hear Murphy’s wonderful words.  I’ve decided to write pieces that are dedicated to telling the people in my life how great I think they are.  I call them “Vituaries.”  

Best Friends Aren't Always Forever

Being in my late twenties, I thought I had naturally evolved past toxic relationships. That kind of stuff was supposed to be so high school. I had convinced myself that I was living my best life. When catching up with old friends, I would brag about my adoring boyfriend, my stimulating job, and my academic endeavours. I would also explain how I was living such a mature life, free from childish drama and toxicity. I seemed to be trying to convince others that I had the good sense to only foster friendships with those who enriched my life. But, that wasn’t true.

You see, I had this friend whom I met shortly after moving to a new city (let’s call her “Marie”). We met through social media and immediately formed a bond. She showed me around town, invited me over for coffee, we even got matching tattoos. It wasn’t until a year or so into our friendship that I started noticing red flags. Looking back on it now, I see that I actually missed several red flags over the course of that first year, but the pleasure of having a close friend in a new city blinded me to the cracks in our relationship.

I was first introduced to Marie’s unforgiving side during a Halloween party last year. In a nutshell, a mutual friend (we will call her “Diane”) showed late to the party causing Marie to erupt into a volcano of insults and foul language. Marie left the party and for the remainder of the night, Diane received a myriad of texts in which Marie called her a terrible friend, instructing her to “rot in hell.” That night, I resolved never to make Marie angry. It was apparent that, should I want to keep our friendship afloat, I would need to bite my tongue from here on out.

Marie and Diane stopped talking after that. I was friends with both of them so it was difficult for me. Because Marie didn’t have any other friends in the city, I gave my time to her time instead of to Diane. In hindsight, I see that Marie’s lack of friends in a city she’d grown up in should’ve spoken volumes to me.

Following the Halloween party, I walked on eggshells around Marie. I didn’t have the energy to fight with her if I were ever to slip up. I’m sure you’re thinking I was foolish for not cutting ties with her at that point – and I was. I was too focused on the fact that I had made a new friend as an adult – something I find extremely difficult – and I wasn’t going to take that for granted.

Eventually, I did cut ties with Marie. We got in a heated argument one day and I made a decision to stand my ground. It wasn’t pretty and I definitely could have handled it better, but I needed my sanity back. 

I guess by recounting this tale, I am trying to say (in a very convoluted way) that we deserve better. This story is not meant to convey that Marie is impossible to be friends with, nor is it meant to convey that someone who doesn’t fit in your life won’t fit well into someone else’s. It’s just to say that some people don’t mesh well with others, and that’s okay. If there is someone in your life who feels toxic, don’t feel guilty about distancing yourself. It is crucial to your mental health and well-being to rid yourself of those connections. Life is too short to foster toxic relationships. 
My relationship with Marie was exhausting. We brought out the worst in each other. Ending our friendship made for a very trying couple of months, but I knew I deserved better. And so did she.

Vituary - Jeff Haley

Jeff Haley

I first met Jeff Haley when a friend brought him to my bff’s birthday party.  He had long hair, was wearing a band hoodie (if I remember correctly), and didn’t say much.  Obviously, my brain told me that I wasn’t cool enough to talk to him.

It’s been, like…..twelve? or so years since that party.  And I’m still not cool enough to talk to Jeff Haley.  But, God love’em, he talks to me anyway!

Like a true BAMF, Jeff lives in Qatar, has an awesome job, travels the world, meets new people, and grows his own mah’fuggin’ veggies.

He’s as genuine a person as you’ll ever meet and he attracts new friends as if he’s a human friend magnet.  He’s kind and giving and sincere, and anybody who knows him can certainly attest to that!

Jeff, man!  It’s so awesome to see you living life to the fullest.  Most people should really take a page out of your book and start grabbin’ life by the you-know-whats (myself included).  You’re a super cool dude with a super cool attitude and it’s just super cool to know you.

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obit (n.) 

late 14c., "death," from Middle French obit or directly from Latin obitus "death," noun use of past participle of obire "to die," literally "to go toward" (see obituary). In modern usage (since 1874) it is usually a clipped form of obituary, though it had the same meaning of "published death notice" 15c.-17c.

vita (n.) 

plural vitae, Latin, literally "life," from PIE root *gwei- "to live."

While recently watching Rex Murphy’s tribute to my late father, I was saddened that my father wasn’t able to hear Murphy’s wonderful words.  I’ve decided to write pieces that are dedicated to telling the people in my life how great I think they are.  I call them “Vituaries.”  

Vituary - Hilary Alteen

Hilary Alteen

 I met Hilary in elementary school.  She wasn’t in my circle of friends, but I liked her an awful lot (still do!).

Hilary was the type of girl that could be classified as weird, solely for the fact that she liked what she liked and didn’t care how that made her look.  I can’t tell you how much I admired that.

I remember one time in particular, in Grade 6, we had a gym class outside in the field behind our school. 

Some backstory: I started shaving my legs in Grade 5 because I thought it would make me cooler (ha, it did… for about a month).  I had to figure out how to tell my step-mom about it, so I decided to grow out my leg hair, pretend I hadn’t shaved my legs before, and then ask my step-mom about how to shave my legs for the first time (for some reason I thought she’d be mad if she knew I’d done it already).   Taking a page out of the Hilary Alteen book of “Do It ‘Cause You Like It”, I wore a skort to school while I was growing out the hair on my legs.  It was a cute skort, dammit!  I wanted to wear it, leg hair or not!  But my friends weren’t long making me feel embarrassed for doing so. 

ANYWAY, outside in the field, I noticed Hilary in her shorts, running around with her pals, leg hair majestically blowing in the wind, and I thought “God damn, I need confidence like that and I need friends like those.”

Hilary has grown into an amazing person, but she hasn’t lost that amazing eccentricity that makes her so adorably Hilary.  She lives her life for her, not for ‘Likes’ on Facebook, not for followers on Instagram; she does what makes her happy because it makes her happy.  She lives her life the way I wish I had the confidence to live mine.

Hilary, it’s been a long, long time.  We didn’t speak much in our later school years, but I never stopped admiring you.  You are an incredible person and I’m so delighted to see the person you’ve become.

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obit (n.) 

late 14c., "death," from Middle French obit or directly from Latin obitus "death," noun use of past participle of obire "to die," literally "to go toward" (see obituary). In modern usage (since 1874) it is usually a clipped form of obituary, though it had the same meaning of "published death notice" 15c.-17c.

vita (n.) 

plural vitae, Latin, literally "life," from PIE root *gwei- "to live."

While recently watching Rex Murphy’s tribute to my late father, I was saddened that my father wasn’t able to hear Murphy’s wonderful words.  I’ve decided to write pieces that are dedicated to telling the people in my life how great I think they are.  I call them “Vituaries.”